Pope Instructs Marriage Prep Programs To Correct Cohabitation

During the Ad Limina visits with the US bishops, the Holy Father broached the marriage preparation programs in the American dioceses.   He said the bishops must recognize the "deficiencies" in the presentation of the Church's teachings during the past several decades and called for concentration on "“the serious pastoral problem presented by the widespread practice of cohabitation, often by couples who seem unaware that it is gravely sinful, not to mention damaging to the stability of society."  Read the whole article in Lifesite News.

Those of you who teach/administer the marriage prep courses, how many of you have taken notice that during course registrations, many of the engaged couples indicate that they are living at the same address?  I know in some parishes in this diocese, these "same-address" situations, in other words, co-habitating situations, are as high as 80% of the class attendees.  I also know that you don't utter a peep.  By not doing so, you are doing them no favors, as you, by their silence, confirm them in objective mortal sin.  I said "objective" because by virtue of the terrible catechesis they've received (and continue to receive from you), their culpability may be lessened (but not entirely eliminated, for there must be that unease in their consciences that lets them know that something is amiss).  You do them no favors by your silence!  Because of their ongoing mortal sin, they will receive no sacramental grace from the Sacrament of Matrimony for which they are preparing.  That may well be a key factor why the greater percentage of these cohabiting couples will find themselves in divorce court.

I am happily aware of one parish in which engaged couples are required, if cohabiting, to separate until they are married if they want to complete that parish's marriage prep course.  This should be the rule, not the exception.  I hope and pray that with the Holy Father's clear exhortation, such will become more prevalent.

Kudus to Our Lady of Lourdes Parish!

It is no secret that most couples undergoing marriage preparation in Catholic parishes these days are living together.  That is to say, they are committing the mortal sin of fornication - quite openly - while ostensibly preparing for a Catholic marriage.  Yet those who conduct these sessions, by and large, say nothing of the proverbial "elephants in the living room" that sit before them.

Studies show that cohabitation before marriage is prejudicial to the success of that marriage.  "But wait a minute!", one might say.  "They're seeking God's grace!"  Are they?  By continuing in disobedience to His Commandments?  Let's speak of grace in general.  We know that when one is in mortal sin, he or she can receive no sacramental grace from reception of any of the sacraments - with the obvious exception of the Sacrament of Penance.  Thus, a fornicating couple receiving the sacrament of matrimony can expect no grace or the attendant benefits until they end the sinful situation and go to Confession.

Yet by and large, those conducting the marriage prep courses turn a blind eye, failing miserably to do what would arguably be the most important work in helping truly Catholic marriages to come about and to succeed.

That's why I was pleasantly surprised to read this announcement in a recent weekly bulletin from Our Lady of Lourdes Church in Bethesda MD.  It reads: (begin announcement)
Sacrament of Matrimony In accord with the regulations of the Arcdiocese of Washington, couples must contact a priest and begin preparation at least six months prior to a wedding.  Parish registration and active participation for a minimum of three months is required before preparation may begin.  Living together before marriage is sinful and harmful to the future marriage.  Couples who are living together will be asked to live separately during the preparation time.  (end announcement)

While I might have added that couples living together should go to Confession, this is indeed much more than I've seen in any other bulletin.  God bless those of Our Lady of Lourdes who are conducting this course.