Sunday, August 14, 2011

New Dimension To The Phrase "Eat Sh#t"

Warning!  Please don't read this post if you're weak of stomach and have just eaten, or will soon have a meal!

I heard of a cockamany scheme to "convert" human feces into "edible" format.  In Japan, researcher Misuyki Ikeda was retained by Toyko Sewage to research possible ways to utilize sewage.  He thinks he did and seems to have conned a number of folks into believing it.  Because this seemed so far-fetched to me, I googled the words "Toyko Sewage Ikeda" and a quite a few links popped up.  I picked one from Manila Bulletin at random and the whole revolting theme is layed out.  They're trying to make the crap look like a typical steak.  Ikeda thinks his glop "will someday lead the culinary revolution".  In reality, it's more like "culinary revulsion".  Here's an article from Northern Virginia Magazine that links to a video of the manufacturing process.  I've seen another video that claims this whole thing is a hoax; while I'd like to believe this fellow and he does make some interesting points, I doubt his credibility.

I bet you can guess the motivational factors behind these poop burgers!  Yep!  They're supposedly "cruelty-free"!  Are you PETA types going to snarf these things up?  Bon appetit!

And of course, these things are touted as being "environmentally-friendly".  Slaughterhouses generate those big, evil "greenhouse gases"!  They help cause "global warming"!  One wonders about the processes to convert the feces to fake-steaks.  That has to make some carbon footprint, right?  After all, an exploder is used in the process.  I also understand that the steak-appearance is achieved by food coloring!  I thought food coloring was supposed to be carcinogenic; or is that an obsolete canard jettisoned for the latest politically-correct fad?

If this catches on, just think of the ensuing name changes.  The Outback Steak House might reduce their name to the Outhouse.  And McDonald's might change their "Happy Meal" to "Crappy Meal"!

When the 2012 Lenten Carbon Fast rolls around, let's examine that calendar very closely.  They may be advocating several new kinds of s@#t!  On this point I'm halfway serious.  If they're addle-brained enough to suggest usage of those mercury bulbs, they will be ditzy enough to suggest that we eat human dung to "save the planet".

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