Thursday, October 27, 2011

PETA's Whale Of A Whopper (And An Original Song!)

That choice of words above was not mere hyperbole.  In San Diego, CA, PETA is suing Sea World Parks, allegedly on behalf of some orca whales.  They claim that the whale's 13th Amendment "rights" are being violated.  The 13th Amendment to the US Constitution prohibits slavery - slavery of human beings, that is. By the way - a link to the text of the US Constitution is on the right sidebar.

The suit has yet to be filed in court, so it's unknown at this time just what compensation PETA is seeking on behalf of its clients.  I seriously doubt if those clients are capable of handling money, so of course PETA, being the kind-hearted souls that they are, will take upon themselves the onus of being the, uh.., custodians of any cash awards that might arise from this suit.  Of course that assumes that the judge won't have a modicum of common sense and dismiss it as the frivolous crap that it is.  But even if that happens, PETA has stuck itself in the limelight and probably has conned more than a few suckers into parting with their money.

Perhaps that's the point - to fatten the PETA bank accounts and put themselves in the public eye, even if they have to act like buffoons in the process.  The whole thing can actually be summed up nicely in a little ditty that I threw together this afternoon, in honor of PETA.  Since they're ostensibly concerned about "slavery", I set this to the tune of the old spiritual, "Let My People Go".  So sing the following in PETA's (dis)honor!

When PETA's cash flow was running dry - let the orcas go
They cooked up a scheme to keep their profiles high - let the orcas go
Go down, PETA - way down to Sea World land.
Tell those zoo folks - to let the orcas go!

PETA!  If you co-opt the above musical masterpiece for your fundraising without cutting me in on the take, I'm gonna sue!! 

1 comment:

  1. People Eating Tasty Animals: Clown school rejects for animals since 1980


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