I Want a Prize, Too!!

I hereby promise all the world an end to war, starvation, disease and the embarrassment of hallitosis! I promise a chicken in every pot, a car in every garage, a college diploma on every wall, free health care for all, and no crabgrass in any lawn!

There! Now that I've made all sorts of pretty promises, can I please now have my Nobel Peace Prize? What? I didn't accomplish anything? Well, since when has that been a requirement these days? After all, the Messiah Most Miserable didn't do anything, but - gee whiz! - he only talked a pretty talk and he got one. How come I don't get one?

Come to think of it, should that prize really have gone to Obama? Perhaps it would have been more fitting to award it to his teleprompter!