Coakley's Candidacy Needs Emergency Care!

(Note: the following is a parody!)

News Flash!  Senate Democrat Candidate Martha Coakley taken to emergency room!

Ambulance personnel rush her in on a stretcher.
Triage doctor: "What happened?"
EMT: "Well, Ms. Coakley was busy inserting both feet in her mouth, as she usually does.  However, this time she got stuck in that position.  Her spine is all curved in a ball, and both feet are still in her mouth, gagging her!"
Triage doctor: "I'm afraid it's terminal.  We'll have to, well, you know..:"
Coakley: "Mffmph!!  Glakkp!!"  (translation) "What the &*&## are you saying?"
Triage doctor:  "Yes, those are the guidelines from the Federal Office of Foot-In-Mouth Syndrome, instituted by the Messiah Most Miserable himself when Obamacare went into effect.  It's just not cost-effective to remove her feet and to allow greenhouse gases into the atmosphere to cause global warming."
EMT (nervously looking around): "Shush!  You better be careful what you say!"
Triage doctor: "Oh, that's not a problem anymore.  Thanks to the soon-to-be-belated Senator here, we're not bothered by all those right-wing, Christian prolife nuts who carry on and on about the sacredness of life.  Now we can carry on as only Government is God.  Don't worry, Ms Coakley - it's quite a painless process."
Coakley: "Mfffph!!  Glaph!!  Snort!!" (as she is wheeled away to who-knows-where)
Triage doctor: "Thank you, Senator, for making all this possible!"

(end parody)

Does the above seem ridiculous?  There is a tiny ring of truth to this, as the hopefully soon-to-be-defeated candidate publicly opined that those who object to abortion and contraception should not work in hospital emergency rooms.  Read the interview.  Frankly, if I ever have occasion to visit the emergency room in less-than-ideal physical condition, I would very much want to have a pro-life physician attending me, lest the above scenario be something more than a farce.