However, there are some programs so essential to the well-being of these United States of America, that their gravy trains cannot pull into the station. And what are some of these vital endeavors?
- Reduction in "human-elephant conflicts" - $3.8 million, lest those dastardly elephants leave us "pies"
- $2.7 million to study why "lesbians have higher risk for hazardous drinking"
- A mere $1.5 million to study "why lesbians are obese but gay men aren't"
Doesn't all this give you such reassurance that your tax dollars are being put to worthwhile use? It should! More of your dollars are being seized as tax dollars!